golang IRC bot
git clone git://git.2f30.org/kunt.git
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commit a6b545cb80489333f4061caf0fe625edf34fdfe8
parent f759878f0b3a8524a624fb82419b374cc122c5cc
Author: sin <sin@2f30.org>
Date:   Sun Sep 28 20:10:37 +0100

Add theo command

src/kunt/kunt.go | 115+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
1 file changed, 115 insertions(+), 0 deletions(-)
diff --git a/src/kunt/kunt.go b/src/kunt/kunt.go @@ -168,6 +168,120 @@ func cmdCountQuotes(msg irc.Message) { kunt.ircCtx.Privmsg(msg.Args[0], text) } +func cmdTheoQuote(msg irc.Message) { + quotes := []string{ + "Write more code.", + "Make more commits.", + "That's because you have been slacking.", + "slacker!", + "That's what happens when you're lazy.", + "idler!", + "slackass!", + "lazy bum!", + "Stop slacking you lazy bum!", + "slacker slacker lazy bum bum bum slacker!", + "I could search... but I'm a lazy bum ;)", + "sshutup sshithead, ssharpsshooting susshi sshplats ssharking assholes.", + "Lazy bums slacking on your asses.", + "35 commits an hour? That's pathetic!", + "Fine software takes time to prepare. Give a little slack.", + "I am just stating a fact", + "you bring new meaning to the terms slackass. I will have to invent a new term.", + "if they cut you out, muddy their back yards", + "Make them want to start over, and play nice the next time.", + "It is clear that this has not been thought through.", + "avoid using abort(). it is not nice.", + "That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in the last two or three minutes!", + "I'm not just doing this for crowd response. I need to be right.", + "I'd put a fan on my bomb.. And blinking lights...", + "I love to fight", + "No sane people allowed here. Go home.", + "you have to stop peeing on your breakfast", + "feature requests come from idiots", + "henning and darren / sitting in a tree / t o k i n g / a joint or three", + "KICK ASS. TIME FOR A JASON LOVE IN! WE CAN ALL GET LOST IN HIS HAIR!", + "shame on you for following my rules.", + "altq's parser sucks dead whale farts through the finest chemistry pipette's", + "screw this operating system shit, i just want to drive!", + "Search for fuck. Anytime you see that word, you have a paragraph to write.", + "Yes, but the ports people are into S&M.", + "Buttons are for idiots.", + "We are not hackers. We are turd polishing craftsmen.", + "who cares. style(9) can bite my ass", + "It'd be one fucking happy planet if it wasn't for what's under this fucking sticker.", + "I would explain, but I am too drunk.", + "you slackers don't deserve pictures yet", + "Vegetarian my ass", + "Wait a minute, that's a McNally's!", + "don't they recognize their moral responsibility to entertain me?", + "#ifdef is for emacs developers.", + "Many well known people become net-kooks in their later life, because they lose touch with reality.", + "You're not allowed to have an opinion.", + "tweep tweep tweep", + "Quite frankly, SSE's alignment requirement is the most utterly retarded idea since eating your own shit.", + "Holy verbose prom startup Batman.", + "Any day now, when we sell out.", + "optimism in man kind does not belong here", + "First user who tries to push this button, he pounds into the ground with a rant of death.", + "we did farts. now we do sperm. we are cutting edge.", + "the default configuration is a mixture of piss, puke, shit, and bloody entrails.", + "Stop wasting your time reading people's licenses.", + "doing it with environment variables is OH SO SYSTEM FIVE LIKE OH MY GOD PASS ME THE SPOON", + "Linux is fucking POO, not just bad, bad REALLY REALLY BAD", + "penguins are not much more than chickens that swim.", + "i am a packet sniffing fool, let me wipe my face with my own poo", + "Whiners. They scale really well.", + "in your world, you would have a checklist of 50 fucking workarounds just to make a coffee.", + "for once, I have nothing to say.", + "You have no idea how fucked we are", + "You can call it fart if you want to.", + "wavelan is a battle field", + "You are in a maze of gpio pins, all alike, all undocumented, and a few are wired to bombs.", + "And that is why humppa sucks... cause it has no cause.", + "cache aliasing is a problem that would have stopped in 1992 if someone had killed about 5 people who worked at Sun.", + "Don't spread rumours about me being gentle.", + "If municipal water filtering equipment was built by the gcc developers, the western world would be dead by now.", + "kettenis supported a new machine in my basement and all I got to do was fix a 1 character typo in his html page commit.", + "industry told us a lesson: when you're an asshole, they mail you hardware", + "I was joking, really. I think I am funny :-)", + "the kernel is a harsh mistress", + "Have I ever been subtle? If my approach ever becomes subtle, shoot me.", + "the acpi stabs you in the back. the acpi stabs you in the back. you die ...", + "My cats are more observant than you.", + "our kernels have no bugs", + "style(9) has all these fascist rules, and i have a problem with some of them because i didn't come up with them", + "I'm not very reliable", + "I don't like control", + "You aren't being conservative -- you are trying to be a caveman.", + "nfs loves everyone", + "basically, dung beetles fucking. that's what kerberosV + openssl is like", + "I would rather run Windows than use vi.", + "if you assign that responsibility to non-hikers I will walk over and cripple you now.", + "i ojbect two yoru splelng of achlhlocis.", + "We have two kinds of developers - those that deal with their own shit and those that deal with other people's shit.", + "If people keep adding such huge stuff, soon mg will be bigger than emacs.", + "this change comes down to: This year, next year, 5 years from now, 10 years from now, or Oh fuck.", + "backwards compatibility is king, and will remain king, until 2038.", + "I don't know if the Internet's safe yet.", + "Those who don't understand Unix are condemned to reinvent Multics in a browser", + "Don't tell anybody I said that.", + "Complaint forms are handled in another department.", + "You'd be safer using Windows than the code which was just deleted.", + "Shit should not be shared.", + "the randomization in this entire codebase is a grand experiment in stupid", + "My mailbox is full of shock.", + "my integer overflow spidey senses are tingling.", + "I'm just trying to improve the code...", + "It's a pleasure to work on code you can't make worse.", + "It's largely bad style to do (int)sizeof", + "When I see Makefile.in, I know that \"in\" is short for \"insane\".", + "This is the beer. And that's why we need a hackathon.", + } + + idx := rand.Intn(len(quotes)) + kunt.ircCtx.Privmsg(msg.Args[0], quotes[idx]) +} + func cmdRandUrl(msg irc.Message) { if urlDb.Empty() { kunt.ircCtx.Privmsg(msg.Args[0], "Empty url database") @@ -490,6 +604,7 @@ func main() { dispatch := map[string]func(irc.Message){ botname: cmdKunt, + "!theo": cmdTheoQuote, "!wisdom": cmdWisdom, "!help": cmdHelp, "!version": cmdVersion,