commit a6b545cb80489333f4061caf0fe625edf34fdfe8
parent f759878f0b3a8524a624fb82419b374cc122c5cc
Author: sin <sin@2f30.org>
Date: Sun, 28 Sep 2014 20:10:37 +0100
Add theo command
Diffstat:
| M | src/kunt/kunt.go | | | 115 | +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ |
1 file changed, 115 insertions(+), 0 deletions(-)
diff --git a/src/kunt/kunt.go b/src/kunt/kunt.go
@@ -168,6 +168,120 @@ func cmdCountQuotes(msg irc.Message) {
kunt.ircCtx.Privmsg(msg.Args[0], text)
}
+func cmdTheoQuote(msg irc.Message) {
+ quotes := []string{
+ "Write more code.",
+ "Make more commits.",
+ "That's because you have been slacking.",
+ "slacker!",
+ "That's what happens when you're lazy.",
+ "idler!",
+ "slackass!",
+ "lazy bum!",
+ "Stop slacking you lazy bum!",
+ "slacker slacker lazy bum bum bum slacker!",
+ "I could search... but I'm a lazy bum ;)",
+ "sshutup sshithead, ssharpsshooting susshi sshplats ssharking assholes.",
+ "Lazy bums slacking on your asses.",
+ "35 commits an hour? That's pathetic!",
+ "Fine software takes time to prepare. Give a little slack.",
+ "I am just stating a fact",
+ "you bring new meaning to the terms slackass. I will have to invent a new term.",
+ "if they cut you out, muddy their back yards",
+ "Make them want to start over, and play nice the next time.",
+ "It is clear that this has not been thought through.",
+ "avoid using abort(). it is not nice.",
+ "That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in the last two or three minutes!",
+ "I'm not just doing this for crowd response. I need to be right.",
+ "I'd put a fan on my bomb.. And blinking lights...",
+ "I love to fight",
+ "No sane people allowed here. Go home.",
+ "you have to stop peeing on your breakfast",
+ "feature requests come from idiots",
+ "henning and darren / sitting in a tree / t o k i n g / a joint or three",
+ "KICK ASS. TIME FOR A JASON LOVE IN! WE CAN ALL GET LOST IN HIS HAIR!",
+ "shame on you for following my rules.",
+ "altq's parser sucks dead whale farts through the finest chemistry pipette's",
+ "screw this operating system shit, i just want to drive!",
+ "Search for fuck. Anytime you see that word, you have a paragraph to write.",
+ "Yes, but the ports people are into S&M.",
+ "Buttons are for idiots.",
+ "We are not hackers. We are turd polishing craftsmen.",
+ "who cares. style(9) can bite my ass",
+ "It'd be one fucking happy planet if it wasn't for what's under this fucking sticker.",
+ "I would explain, but I am too drunk.",
+ "you slackers don't deserve pictures yet",
+ "Vegetarian my ass",
+ "Wait a minute, that's a McNally's!",
+ "don't they recognize their moral responsibility to entertain me?",
+ "#ifdef is for emacs developers.",
+ "Many well known people become net-kooks in their later life, because they lose touch with reality.",
+ "You're not allowed to have an opinion.",
+ "tweep tweep tweep",
+ "Quite frankly, SSE's alignment requirement is the most utterly retarded idea since eating your own shit.",
+ "Holy verbose prom startup Batman.",
+ "Any day now, when we sell out.",
+ "optimism in man kind does not belong here",
+ "First user who tries to push this button, he pounds into the ground with a rant of death.",
+ "we did farts. now we do sperm. we are cutting edge.",
+ "the default configuration is a mixture of piss, puke, shit, and bloody entrails.",
+ "Stop wasting your time reading people's licenses.",
+ "doing it with environment variables is OH SO SYSTEM FIVE LIKE OH MY GOD PASS ME THE SPOON",
+ "Linux is fucking POO, not just bad, bad REALLY REALLY BAD",
+ "penguins are not much more than chickens that swim.",
+ "i am a packet sniffing fool, let me wipe my face with my own poo",
+ "Whiners. They scale really well.",
+ "in your world, you would have a checklist of 50 fucking workarounds just to make a coffee.",
+ "for once, I have nothing to say.",
+ "You have no idea how fucked we are",
+ "You can call it fart if you want to.",
+ "wavelan is a battle field",
+ "You are in a maze of gpio pins, all alike, all undocumented, and a few are wired to bombs.",
+ "And that is why humppa sucks... cause it has no cause.",
+ "cache aliasing is a problem that would have stopped in 1992 if someone had killed about 5 people who worked at Sun.",
+ "Don't spread rumours about me being gentle.",
+ "If municipal water filtering equipment was built by the gcc developers, the western world would be dead by now.",
+ "kettenis supported a new machine in my basement and all I got to do was fix a 1 character typo in his html page commit.",
+ "industry told us a lesson: when you're an asshole, they mail you hardware",
+ "I was joking, really. I think I am funny :-)",
+ "the kernel is a harsh mistress",
+ "Have I ever been subtle? If my approach ever becomes subtle, shoot me.",
+ "the acpi stabs you in the back. the acpi stabs you in the back. you die ...",
+ "My cats are more observant than you.",
+ "our kernels have no bugs",
+ "style(9) has all these fascist rules, and i have a problem with some of them because i didn't come up with them",
+ "I'm not very reliable",
+ "I don't like control",
+ "You aren't being conservative -- you are trying to be a caveman.",
+ "nfs loves everyone",
+ "basically, dung beetles fucking. that's what kerberosV + openssl is like",
+ "I would rather run Windows than use vi.",
+ "if you assign that responsibility to non-hikers I will walk over and cripple you now.",
+ "i ojbect two yoru splelng of achlhlocis.",
+ "We have two kinds of developers - those that deal with their own shit and those that deal with other people's shit.",
+ "If people keep adding such huge stuff, soon mg will be bigger than emacs.",
+ "this change comes down to: This year, next year, 5 years from now, 10 years from now, or Oh fuck.",
+ "backwards compatibility is king, and will remain king, until 2038.",
+ "I don't know if the Internet's safe yet.",
+ "Those who don't understand Unix are condemned to reinvent Multics in a browser",
+ "Don't tell anybody I said that.",
+ "Complaint forms are handled in another department.",
+ "You'd be safer using Windows than the code which was just deleted.",
+ "Shit should not be shared.",
+ "the randomization in this entire codebase is a grand experiment in stupid",
+ "My mailbox is full of shock.",
+ "my integer overflow spidey senses are tingling.",
+ "I'm just trying to improve the code...",
+ "It's a pleasure to work on code you can't make worse.",
+ "It's largely bad style to do (int)sizeof",
+ "When I see Makefile.in, I know that \"in\" is short for \"insane\".",
+ "This is the beer. And that's why we need a hackathon.",
+ }
+
+ idx := rand.Intn(len(quotes))
+ kunt.ircCtx.Privmsg(msg.Args[0], quotes[idx])
+}
+
func cmdRandUrl(msg irc.Message) {
if urlDb.Empty() {
kunt.ircCtx.Privmsg(msg.Args[0], "Empty url database")
@@ -490,6 +604,7 @@ func main() {
dispatch := map[string]func(irc.Message){
botname: cmdKunt,
+ "!theo": cmdTheoQuote,
"!wisdom": cmdWisdom,
"!help": cmdHelp,
"!version": cmdVersion,
